This is so long all. I am going to go. Thanks for every thing. It was nice knowin you all. I hope you all find happiness in whatever you do. Take care.

Yours Sincerely,
Lost without a Cause

Wow things are at a pathetic low.. but I suppose that is not a big surprise. Things are always at a peak or low for me. It would be nice to find the middle ground and stay there. Sicker than a dog... (think fleabitten half dead rabies infested and you almost have it right) and still as fearful as ever. Somehow I seem to be making things worse for some people. I won't leave them because that is selfish.. But I don't know what to do. How to help them without risking myself. I guess I muddle through as best as possible. Again.

its been one helluva ride. Thank you to everyone that has been there with me. Thanks especially to for EVERYTHING. You will always be great in my eyes. Thanks as well to my darling sis.

is out of the hospital and home now. Thank goodness.. thanks to everyone that lent their support and strength. It helped a lot. Now we can finally move on beyond this happening.... I hope. I never want to have to go through something like that again.

On another note, I think I am getting sick. Lol. Yes this sucks. Well I guess no one can blame me if I wretch at the funeral then. Maybe its just stress. I dunno. But yeah. I go to work in about 3 and a 1/2 hours... and then I am leaving from there for my cousin's funeral. I don't really want to go. but, such is life, ne?

Update on He is in the hospital still, some chance he might be out later on today.... (its thursday here) I can only hope... Dad says that he has been asking for me... I hope that he is ok.. and knows i love him very much. I wish I could fly out there.. and be there when he gets out. It would be nice to see him. And to hug him and then yell at him for a while. A LONG while. I mean I love him and he worries me. But I do still love him. We shall see if i get to see him.

On another note, this weekend I am going to be gone. I have to go to a funeral (my cousin) and I won't have net access. So yeah.

Please keep your thoughts on him. Pray for him. Or whatever you do in whatever religion you are. Thank you so much for the support.